Marrying a pregnant lady....sah or not?

Assalamualaikum

I just received a forwarded email from a good friend and I find it rather disturbing. If the email were true, then I think quite a number of nikahs in the country would be not valid (inda sah). So read on people and tell me what do you think?

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About marrying a pregnant lady (especially for muslims)

To find out kesahihan about this info, please do discuss this with an Imam or Ustaz - takut bercanggah. (source : article from webkl portal)

Look at questions 1-5. This is serious. This kind of marriage is very common in Malaysia. Bila dapat tahu anak pregnant luar nikah, cepat kahwinkan. Based on the statement below, the nikah is tak sah. Thus, it is considered as zina...Pls. pass to all your muslim friends. If it is not too much to find Out kesahihan Q2 & Q3... because many Muslims actually get their children married off once they know that their daughter is carrying an illegitimate child.

A question was asked of an Imam recently, which raised many other questions. I would like to share them with you, as they are very important:

Question 1 : What is the correct thing to do when girl become Pregnant outside of marriage?

Answer 1 : She should not marry anyone until the baby is born.

Question 2 : Assuming the father of the child wants to marry her, can he?

Answer 2 : No, he cannot marry her, until the baby is born.

Question 3 : Is the marriage valid if they did marry?

Answer 3 : No, the marriage contract is invalid. A Muslim cannot marry a pregnant woman, even if he is the biological father.

Question 4 : If they married, what should they do now to correct it?

Answer 4 : They should separate. She should wait for confirm that she is not pregnant. They can then marry, as this will be now a legal marriage by Islamic law.

Question 5 : What if they don't correct it?

Answer 5 : They will still living in a relationship of Zina as the Marriage contract is not valid.

Question 6 : What are the rights of the child that was conceived Outside marriage?

Answer 6 : According to the scholars, the child is not the father's by Islamic law. Hence, the child cannot inherit from the rights over the child. The child also has no rights over the father.

Question 7 : If you say that the father is not the father by Islamic law, does that mean he cannot be the mahram of his own biological daughter?

Answer 7 : Yes, he cannot be her mahram.

Question 8 : A Muslim man and a Muslim (or Non-Muslim) woman decides to get married after having lived together, how should they go about it?

Answer 8 : They must separate immediately and the woman must wait for one menstrual cycle (to prove she is not pregnant), before they can enter into a Marriage contract (i.e. Nikah).

Question 9 : If I know someone that is in this situation, should I tell them about what I have learnt or is it none of my business?

Answer 9 : It is your Islamic duty to inform them, so they can rectify their situation, otherwise all the children from that relationship will be born outside an Islamic legal marriage.Na'uzubillah.

Please do not discard this hand out. This is a very serious matter, so I urge you to understand it, discuss it further with a scholar if you are not clear, or do not agree. Inform those that may be in this situation and pray that you or your children should never be.

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Nauzubillah! I find this email rather worrying because this is exactly what most unwed couples tend to do when they find that they are having a baby. The perfect solution: Get married before the baby was born.

I tried to do my own research on this matter but so far....nada...nothing.

The only explanation that I could come up with in relation to the email is that, as we all know, a man cannot marry a lady who is still in her iddah.

The duration of Iddah is 4 months and 10 days for those who are not pregnant while for those who are is until the baby was born. Maybe that is why the marriage contract (Nikah) mentioned in the email was invalid. A lady who is pregnant outside wedlock is equivalent to a pregnant lady who is in her iddah. hmm I don't know. Please don't quote me on this. But I think it is pretty important for us to know.

Anyone out there who knows more about this?

...Hayatilah....Fahamilah....Renungilah...

A story to learn from.

Assalamualaikum

I was contemplating whether to tell this story or not as I was afraid that doing so would be considered as Gheebah. Gheebah means to talk about someone behind their back in a manner that he/she would dislike i.e. mengumpat.

However, I truly think that there is a lot to learn from it, especially for the parents out there. My sister told me this story years ago. She didn’t mention the names of the parties involved, so InsyaAllah, this is not Gheebah, but if you think otherwise, just shout out yea.

One of my sister’s colleagues came to the office one day with red puffy eyes, a running nose and a look that was beyond sadness. The sound of her hiccups showed that she was probably crying the whole night before. Everyone was alarmed and immediately rushed to her side and tried to calm her down. But she just continued crying. No one knew what to do. Suddenly she started talking.

“Anak ku. Perasahanku semua udah ku buat bah. Ku antar ia ke sekulah Ugama. Pass ia periksa ugama. Ku antar ia belajar mengaji. Khatam Qur’an ia. Alum cukup kah?? Semua udah ku buat bah rasaku. Alum cukup kah apa yang ku buat ani. Alum???”

“My sons. I’ve done everything that I could. I sent them off to religious school. They passed their religious school exam with flying colours. I sent them off to Qur’an reading classes. Now they are able to read the whole of Qur’an. Isn’t that enough?? Is it not???”

It turned out that the night before, the said colleague was cleaning up one of her sons’ room and found packs of condoms in the son’s pencil case. She was alarmed when she saw the condoms. She tried to think positively. Her son was a form 4 student at that time. There was no way for him to do anything that could possibly shame her. So she waited for the son to come home

Once the son entered the door, she immediately called him.

“I was cleaning your room and I found this. Apani? (What’s this?)”
“Condoms.”
“Why is it in your pencil case?”
“EH napa lagi kan Ma? Untuk dipakai lah.” (Eh why else Ma? Of course it is for me to use.)
“Ya Allah! Tau ko kah ani haram??” (Ya Allah! Don’t you know that this (zina) is haram??”
“Oh come on Ma. Everyone does itl! Ask Abang (brother)!”



Astaghfirullah.

I can’t imagine the sorrow that my sister’s colleague must have felt at that time to find out that not only one but two of her sons were practicing sex outside marriage.

Nauzubillah!

This is the reality of our society today. Judging from the increasing number of abandoned babies found, it seems like adultery is being herald as something to be proud off. Young kids nowadays shamelessly hug and kiss each other in public! I’ve come across sooo many friendsters’ pictures of two young couples, probably no more than 15, hugging each other in bed. The question is…where are their parents at that time?? Who’s room was it? Who’s bed??

The fact that the kids are proudly posting those pictures up shows that they truly think there is nothing wrong with what they were doing at that time.

I find the question my sister’s colleague asked herself very interesting. “Isn’t it enough??”

Well….ugama school is just a starting point for the children to gain more knowledge about Islam. It would be up to the parent to ensure that the children are executing what they have learned in school. Sadly, for some kids, the day they finished their last ugama paper would also be the day of their last obligatory prayer.

Parenting is hard. I know. I can hardly keep up with my 3 nieces and nephew. But a parent should at least know where his/her children are and who they are with at a time.

I hope we (daughter, son, mother, father) learned something from the story I posted. Enjoy your day everyone. May Allah bless you all today. Amin.

...Hayatilah....Fahamilah....Renungilah...

Maluuuuuuu

Assalamualaikum

I apologise for the lack of updates. Work’s been pressing me inside out lately that I find myself cracking lame jokes everyday just to cheer me up. My poor colleagues!

I’ve decided to talk about one of my nieces today because her antics never fail to cheer me up. Hope she will brighten your day too :D

When my bubbly and outspoken niece, N, was a bit younger (she’s 4 now), she had this habit of running around the house, unclothed, after her shower. Chasing and convincing her to put on her clothes was such a chore! Imagine me and her mom pulling her from under the table armed with a towel and a diaper twice per day, everyday! LOL Thank God, N’s younger sisters are not following her steps.

The whole family then came up with this plan. Every time her unclothed-habit strikes the whole family would say “ooooo maluuuuu” (oooo how embarrassing!) The first time we used that line little N asked “Napa malu?” (Why is it embarrassing?) and we explained “Bini-bini mana boleh jalan-jalan dapan laki-laki inda pakai baju.”(Girls are not supposed to walk around in front of men with no clothes on.) Then the male members of the family would pretend to close their eyes saying stuffs like “Inda boleh buka mata! N inda pakai baju” LOL. (We cannot open our eyes because N has no clothes on.) And it worked! Unclothed-habit is a thing of the past now. Hehe.

But little do we know our ‘brilliant’ plan had created another problem.


Little N went to one of the shops in Bandar one day with both of her parents. N’s mom was busy looking at some stuffs when suddenly a lady wearing a spaghetti strap and a mini skirt walked passed the trio…..and GUESS what did little N say??????

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Yesss you guessed right! ERK.

Little N pointed one of her chubby fingers to the lady and loudly said, “Aiii babu…ooooo maluuuuuuu”. (Look mom, how embarrasing!)

I have no idea who was more mortified. My sister or the lady. Poor little N earned herself a good pinch right on the arm and ended up crying.

LOL

One of the things that both N and I love to do is curdling together on my parent’s bed with a women’s magazine in our hands. I’ll be holding one end and her the other. I was flipping through the pages of the mag when she suddenly stopped me and pointed to a picture of a lady wearing a piece of skimpy lingerie.

“Bongsu, ani inda malu kah?” she asked. (Bongsu, isn’t this embarrassing?)
“Apa N pikir?” (What do you think?)
“Maluuuuu!” (It is!!)

MasyaAllah, and she is only 4! May Allah guide my niece N throughout her life. May she become a strong muslimah, a true muslimah. Amin.


My dear readers, haya (shyness) can be taught from an early age. I’ve seen parents who bought skimpy clothes for their 9 year old daughters….teenage daughters even! The daughter might not have entered puberty yet but the parent is inadvertently teaching her that it is OK to wear revealing clothes. By the time she enters puberty she would have thought nothing of showing off her skin. And they say old habits die hard.

It’s getting harder to keep my eyes opened now. The screen is getting blurry. I better end it here. But before that….


"When there is no haya left, then do as you please." (Bukhari)


“Bila sifat malu itu hilang, buatlah semahu mu.” (Bukhari)

...Hayatilah....Fahamilah....Renungilah...