How it begins

How it begins...

Assalamualaikum.

I was reading someone's blog just now and one of her entries reminded me of the time when I first decided to permanently cover my hair everytime a non-mahram is around.

It all started on the first day of my second yr in Uni somewhere in UK. When my friends saw me with a piece of cloth on top of my head, they all thought that i was trying to hide my bad-hair-day. I'm ashamed to say that I was ashamed of myself at that time. I actually felt embarrased that i was wearing a hijab even tho it was my decision to start putting it on.

I was expecting all sorts of reactions and comments from my friends but to my surprise....they only asked a few questions and thats it! I really was expecting the worst. They didn't treat me any differently. And you know what? I find it much easier to answer " Why are u covering your hair?" than " If you were a Muslim, then why are you NOT covering your hair?"

Alhamdulillah rezeki makin murah ever since I started donning the hijab. When I was in Rome, somehow most of the shops that I went to tend to belong to Muslims. The shop owners gave me up to 70% discount!. Same thing happened when I was in Brisbane. Alhamdulillah.

One thing I learned during the first few months of being a hijjabi is that I was the one who was making it difficult for me to cover my hair! Not my friends, not the strangers who were giving me those weird looks as I walked down the streets and not the ghetto kids who said " Nice hat" to me! It was ME who was making myself miserable. I passed Assesorized...and I thought "Aiii nice earings". I went into Next, saw a cute top and I thought " Aiii lawaaa baju ahh but aku betudung...nda tia bisai". It took me months to remind myself that this is for my own good! Islam is a way of life. Everything that Allah told us to do is for our own benefit. We all know that but why are we not following His rules??

I remember how ashamed I felt when an Arab lady asked me if I was a Muslim as she was surprised to see a non-hijjabi in the Uni surau. That got me thinking 'Dont I look like a Muslim?'

But I also remember how happy I was when a stranger said 'Assalamualaikum' to me during my first few days of donning the hijab. It kept me smiling the whole day! I want to be seen as a Muslim. I want the whole world to know that I am a Muslim upon seeing me 100 miles away!

I am still learning though. Everyday I pray to Allah that He will make me a better Muslimah today than I was yesterday. Yes...I'm still learning. I have a long way to go.

...Hayatilah....Fahamilah....Renungilah...