Wednesday, July 25, 2007

White crow


MasyaAllah it is Rejab already! Then come Sya'ban, then Ramadhan! I'm soooo excited! Time flies soooo fast, it feels like it was only last month that we celebrated Eid Fitr. And now Ramadhan is almost here! :D :D :D May Allah let us live long enough to see Ramadhan. Amin.

I'm suddenly reminded of what Dr Fadzilah Kamsah said the other day when I was watching one of those morning religious programmes on TV3:

“Orang perempuan, oiiiii orang perempuan, hutang PUASA SUDAH BAYAR? Jangan lah tunggu Sya’ban.” (Women, oiiiiii women, have you QADA your previous fast? Don't you wait till Sya'ban to do it.)


It felt like as if he was talking directly to me. Okkkkk I have two more days to qada. Will do it asap.

Ahhh Rejab is one of the four sacred months of the year. I was going to write a post on the benefits of Rejab but I came across many many blogs which have done that. So I'm just going to cut-and-paste the links here. I'm sure the authors wouldn't mind. May Allah bless them always. Now, don't you just scroll down without clicking them okeh?

So lets move on to my post. Now this post below was meant for last week! I didnt get around to finish it till tonight. Sorry. Just read on people and pretend that tonight is actually 7 days ago. hehe.

I was watching Laman Nurani on TV3 this morning while getting ready for work (people you should watch this programme every morning. It's very good!). Ustazah Nor Bahiyah was on and she talked about 'Mendidik Anak' (Raising your children). Although I'm not a mom, but being an aunt and a teacher, I could totally relate to what she was saying and was nodding the whole way through the 30 mins programme.

One of the things that she mentioned was how parents tend to forget to remind their children on their duties as muslims (e.g. praying, covering their aurah) when they reach 14 and above. Even those who are 21 and above needs some guidance every now and then.

I still remember a conversation that I had with my students last year. They had just finished their exams and I thought I should give them a break and decided to have a class discussion on err well...'relationships'. teehee. My students are 16-18 year olds so most of them tend to see me as their elder sister.

They told me sooo many stories. From their first puppy love to breakups, then the girls accused the boys of being cheaters while the boys accused the girls of being flirty. I just sat back and listened to their stories. It was amusing really.

After listening for quite some time, I asked them, " Is it really that important to be in a relationship? At your age I mean."

They all went quiet, deep in thoughts. Then one of them went, " Not really lah cher. But you know lah, biasalah orang muda." (Not really, but it is something that all youngsters do).

"Let me guess, you guys hold hands when you go out," I prodded.

"Of course lah cher! Inda kan inda." (Of course! Whyever not?)

I smiled and continued, " This is just a random question. Who is more important to you? Your girlfriend or boyfriend, Allah or your parents?"

They immediately answered " Well of course Allah is the most important followed by our parents then our gf/bf."

They all looked at me as if I was a silly goose for asking such an absurd question.

I went on, " Ok, next random question, why can't we eat pork?"

The students raised their eyebrows and said " Because it is haram!"

" Oh ok. So you don't eat pork because it is haram but you still hold your bf's or gf's hands eventhough you know that it is haram."

" But atu lainnnnn." (But thats different!)

" Really? And I thought you guys said Allah is more important than you gfs or bfs."

"Teacher ani ehhhhhh!!" the girls squealed.


I then purposely kept quiet and made it clear that I was waiting for them to say something. The class was silent for a few moment and some of the students looked at me sheepishly.

Suddenly one of the boys went, " Antah lah cher. Kadangnya lupa bah. Kami pun inda tau cana bulih." ( I dont know Miss. Sometimes we just forget. We also dont know how it happened.)

One of the girls then immediately said " But Miss, we were just holding hands, bukannya apa-apa."

I replied, " What's haram must stay haram. We cant simply change the rules just because we feel like it."

I cant remember what else we talked about after that, but I have the feeling that could be one of the 'lessons' that my students will always remember. Well at least I hope so.

I am proud of the boy who admitted that 'sometimes we just forget'. He was mature enough to admit that.

Yes we all forget. But the thing is we dont forget at the same time. At that time I remembered, so I reminded my students. Who knows one day I will be the one who forgets, and my students would be the one who will be reminding me of the dangers of sins.

I find it very interesting that the person who said " But we were just holding hands" was a girl. Sigh. We females are truly 'perhiasan dunia' (world's temporary conveniences) that sway the iman of the men. Which reminds me of this particular hadith:

“Takutlah pada dunia dan takutlah pada wanita karena fitnah pertama pada Bani Israel adalah pada wanita.” (Muslim).

"So fear the world and fear women, for the first trial of the Bani Israel had to do with women" (Muslim)

Sisters, we are our own enemy. We pout, we whine, we glare, we give the silent treatment, we use our sweet voices, we give our sweet smiles, and we do many many more to get what we want. Men, though at first seemed so tough and ruthless, after sometime gave in to our feminine wails.

Come on girls, admit it, I'm sure there were numerous times in the past when you used your feminine ways to get what you want. Imagine this scenario:

You were in a kadai kain (textile shop) and you were eyeing a particular kain which costs waayy beyond your budget.

You: Bleh kurang kah kain ahhh? *Pout and bat eye lashes a few times*

Male Indian shop owner: Tak boleh. Ini kain dari Dubai bah. Mahal.

You: Alaahhhh. Kurang sikit saja bahhh. *Pout, frown, bat eye lashes more rapidly*

Male Indian shop owner: Alahhh susah bahhh.

You: ehhhh sikit saja bahhh. Inda ku kemari lagi karang. *Pout, frown, bat eye lashes, sweet high pitch voice*

Male, Indian shop owner: Bah bah. 20% saja.

You: Flash your most sweetest smile that positively can light up the whole shop.

See?? We have our own feminine ways that makes it hard for men to say 'no' to us. Allah created us in such a way that makes it difficult for them to completely ignore us. And sometimes we misuse that 'specialty' that we have. And we make it more difficult for them by wearing ill-fitting clothings.

No I'm not saying men are weak. But what I'm saying is that we girls are constantly dangling ourselves infront of men, tempting them with our feminine errm values yet we become angry when they whistle as we walk in front of them. Say you were on a diet but your friends keep on telling you to try the new KFC black pepper chicken. They even bought it for you. You put it on the dining table, hoping your family members would eat it. You switch on the TV and there's the KFC advert. After watching the same advert for about 10 times, what do you do? You go to the table and eat the chicken! Well, the same analogy applies here.

Which makes me wonder, why in the world do we wear those snug clothings in the first place? Is it to attract men? To make sure we fit in with our friends? Because, to be frank, those ill-fitting clothings are not comfortable anyway. We need to constantly hold our breaths or risk looking like a female Garfield from the side. We also need to constantly pull the hem of our shirts or risk showing our belly or backside or even worse our undies! ERK.

So Whyyyyy??


Can you imagine during the judgement day, if we were asked this: " So why did you not cover your aurah and wear baby Ts?"

"Erm because I want to look cool and I want to show off my figure."


Now I feel shallow.

Dont mind me people. This is one of my self-evaluation days. I went out with some friends just now and had a hard time choosing my attire. In the end I resorted to a black T shirt with long sleeves and a long denim skirt. I put on my hijab and off I went to qlap, thinking that I had fully covered my aurah but Allah gave me a sign that I hadn't.

As I entered the Qlap Mall area, I saw a lady wearing a black Abaya- long and loose, with her black hijjab covering the top half of her body. She was also wearing a pair of black socks and arm gloves. I looked down at my black T shirt. Actually, my sleeves weren't really that long, they were three quarters! Then my T shirt, though it wasnt really that snug, one can still see my err figure. Not to mention my hijjab, I pinned its end onto my shoulders for style's sake and it was kind of short!

You have no idea how awful I felt at that time. So I immediately unpinned the end of my hijjab and let it fell across my chest and secure my pin at its end.


My iman is soo weak. I still need to work on sooo many things.

Ya Allah, please make this journey easier for me.

Please help me from being swayed by dunya.

Please Guide me and keep me on the right path.


Let me leave you with this hadith: "To find a good woman among women is similar to finding a white crow among a hundred crows."

I want to be that white crow.



Anonymous olive said...

aih, banar tu payah banar kan menahan iman ketani.

I usually do this. My husband and I always have a sunday mrutabak ritual right, you know awal pagi and you feel like malas kan berusai because it's AWAL PAGI (hehe) and lagi pun it's just to eat murtabak that sometimes, i didn't wear my tudong.

Selalu ni. We need constant reminder jua bah ah. Kadang-kadang ketani ingat, ketani takut so ketani buat. but other times, ketani ingat, ketani malas so ketani inda buat.

Awu, sometimes it's better to just stay in. hahahah

8:16 am  
Anonymous Yan said...

I feel you sister. erkkk...

I want to be a white crow too...

1:39 pm  
Blogger Reza Faizal said...

wow... banyak pengajarannya... excellent post...

6:55 pm  
Blogger Muslimah Melayu said...

Olive: Bnyk dugaan ah. But kadang2 bila dipikirkan, it annoys me how easily the syaitans influence us. CHEH bnr.

One of the ways to remember about our sins is to always remember that if we are sinned, others may also be affected by our sins. e.g. in my case, if I dont cover my aurah, my dad may or may not hold the consequences and may be asked in the hereafter why did he not tell me off for not covering my aurah. In your case babe, your hubby lah tu. Now it wouldnt be fair on them would it.

One of our bestfriends' mom said this once: " Kalau kamu sayang kan babah mu atu, pakai tah tudung."


Yan: You and I both babe, you and I both. At this rate, hitam legam ku lakat. Grey pun inda. hehe.

RF: Jazakallah. Mudahan Allah will keep on giving us his Hidayah. Amin

5:34 pm  
Blogger Bella said...

Assalamualaikum ya akhi,
I love this piece you created. It is one of Allah ways to show his kuasa. I cried when I read it for it touches deep inside of my feeling. For the reminder is strong thus goosebumps I felt. May Allah always give you time and talent to write more.

10:03 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Askm....great post...makes me more ni alwez tlalai...masyallah....btw keep it up gal...

11:45 pm  
Blogger AlaiMidget said...

I've been reading your blog for some time now. Your writings are honest and laid-back humorous at the same time...thanx for sharing us the story about your lesson with your students.
InsyaAllah they will remember it once , twice, or the many times when they are around their bf/gf. Thank you too for showing how to remind others...i often find it hard to remind others but it is our duty to look out for our brothers and sisters and we have to keep reminding ourselves, right? Anyway, keep up your eye-opening posts!

9:53 am  
Blogger Muslimah Melayu said...

Bella: Waalaikumsalam akhi. Jazakallah for ur dua babe. May Allah always give us His taufiq and hidayah.Amin.

Anonymous: Waalaikumsalam. Yes, ketani manusia ani selalu lalai. Rapuh masih iman ani.But one step at a time is better then none right? ;)

alaimidget: Waalaikumsalam. Actually I am also one of ur silent readers. hehee.

Yes sister, we all need constant reminder to keep us on track and on check. We should not leave that responsibility to the ustaz or ustazahs. We all should do out part and remind each other. I find it easier to remind those who are younger than me such as my students but i often find it difficult to open my mouth and say something about our religion to those who are around my age or older. Now that i am working, ive seen so many things that I think I should say something about. But I didnt. Cause I was afraid that doing so would be kurang ajar or ppl will say im ngada2 or something. But bit by bit sister. And yang paling penting when tani menagur org, make sure tani sendiri pun inda membuat apa yg tani tagur atu. :)

9:47 pm  

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