Monday, December 11, 2006

Something for the sisters...

Assalamualaikum


I'm really sorry for the delay of this post. I must admit that my increasing number of readers kind of make me a bit self-conscious to write. I wrote several drafts for the past few weeks and kept on err rewriting all of them. In the end, I thought what the heck, I'm just going to write this one and straight away post it. So here goes...


There's something that I have not mentioned regarding my wearing the hijab. That is actually I first started wearing it when I was eleven...yes, you read it right... eleven. It was only when I was in the UK that I decided to abandon it under the pretense of for fear of my 'safety'. Why do I say 'pretense'? Well...for starters the boarding school that I went to could be one of the safest places in the world. I was 16 when I went there and even at that time I was aware that if I were to wear my hijjab, nothing would have happened to me as the people in that school were very nice and friendly. But still, I chose to flaunt my hair and even bought a pair of hair straightener! (Hiya! waste of money I tell you!).

So that's the way how it was, for the next 3 years after that, everytime I landed my feet in Brunei, the hijjab would be on but once the feet were roaming around the wet England roads, my hair would be swaying down my back for the whole world to see. Hypocrite you might say? Well, thats exactly how I felt about myself at that time. Sigh...if only I could turn back the time...

In one of my previous posts (here) I mentioned some of the difficulties that I faced when I first donned the Hijjab in the UK. Now I'm back, I'm still facing more challenges but not in terms of wearing the hijjab but in term of putting on the right clothing befitting a true muslimah. Somehow I think the challenges I'm facing here seem to be greater than the ones that I faced in a non-muslim country.

My dear sisters,

Have you ever chosen a tight shirt over a loose one as the later won't show off your curves?
(And also because it can make you look older than your age?)
Have you ever chosen a short shirt which shows off you bum over a long one as the later won't show off your long lean legs?
(And also because it can make you look shorter and hence chubbier?)
Have you ever chosen a short-sleeved shirt over a long-sleeved one as the later will make you sweat like there's no tomorrow?
(And also because all the nice shirts/blouses are short sleeved. The long sleeved ones are rather drabby looking.)
Have you ever chosen a tight/short/short-sleeved shirt because you don't want to look different from your trendy and fashionable friends?
(Beside most girls in Brunei are wearing tight/short/short-sleeved shirts with the hijjab still nicely concealing their hair. So might as well join the crowd you know. Plus you wouldn't want to look like a mother who is chaperoning you chic looking friends.)


I'm ashamed to say that I have to say 'yes' to all the above questions (and statements). Especially the last one. Wearing a long, loose, long-sleeved shirt with hijjab covering my hair and chest area together with a pair of baggy trousers would mean that I will look exceptionally different from my friends. And not to mention much older. The funny thing is, I didn't feel this way when I was back in UK. I felt totally at ease sitting in between friends cum classmates who wore mini skirts and spaghetti straps.

I think it's because at that time I was aware that my classmates were non-muslims so we were meant to be different in a lot of ways. But here in Brunei, I see all the muslim ladies as equals. When you are equal, you are supposed to be the same in a lot of ways. Including the way how you dress. And this makes me unconsciously think that if it's ok for 'X' to wear a tight shirt with hijjab, then it should be ok for me too. We truly are influenced by the people around us. I have the feeling that I'm not the only one who unconsciously feels this way.

Sisters, did you agree with any of the questions I asked above? Any ‘yes’ there (like me) as an answer albeit one. To those who answered ‘yes’: We are a bunch of silly creatures don’t you think? Sorry if I sounded so insulting but seriously, we are actually willing to sacrifice ourselves in the hellfire so long as we don’t look OLD!.....OLD!

"Sesungguhnya sebilangan ahli neraka ialah perempuan-perempuan yang berpakaian tapi telanjang yang condong pada maksiat dan menarik orang lain untuk melakukan maksiat . Mereka tidak akan masuk syurga dan tidak akan mencium baunya." ( Bukhari dan Muslim.)

Translation: "Among the dwellers of hell are such women as are clothed yet naked, seduced and being seduced. These shall not enter the Garden, nor shall (even) its fragrance reach them." (Bukhari and Muslim)

We are actually willing to let ourselves being hanged by the hair in the hellfire until our brains literally boil so long as we don’t look less chic or unsophisticated here in dunyah.

" Wahai anakku Fatimah ! Adapun perempuan-perempuan yang akan digantung rambutnya hingga mendidih otaknya dalam neraka adalah mereka itu di dunia tidak mahu menutup rambutnya daripada dilihat oleh lelaki yang bukan mahramnya " (Bukhari dan Muslim.)

My own translation: "O my daughter Fatimah! There will be women who are hanged from their hair until their brains boil in the hellfire and these are those who do not want to cover their hair from the non-mahram males." (Bukhari and Muslim.)


We truly need to set our priorities straight. Sometimes we tend to forget that we are not here in this world forever. Us, humans are blessed with intelligence ( akal) and sometimes it is worth to just sit back and ponder what is the real purpose of our lifes. The way we live today is as if we truly do not care whether we enter paradise or hellfire. The way we live today is as if we are strong enough to face the toments that await us in the hellfire. The choice is truly ours. Hope we are not too late.

Last but not least, Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said: "O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women)."

Are we ready?

...Hayatilah....Fahamilah....Renungilah...

17 Comments:

Anonymous effa said...

Your post! It is so true about being abroad. We're not exactly fashionably-challenged by the mats & minahs salleh. They dress the way they do because its THEM. So whatever we wear here with a hijjabi on,they're not gonna care because we dress the way we do because its US. All they're gonna see is that that girl is a MUSLIM. They're not gonna see anything beyond the hijjab. But I think back home, as you said, we are EQUAL. On par in terms of religion, and therefore necessitates that we dress accordingly. Other girls who may be a hijjabi or otherwise, will scrutinise us from top to bottom. They want to see beyond the hijjab. In Brunei its not really a matter of whether you're a muslim or not, its a matter of WHAT KIND OF MUSLIM you are.

Although having shirts long enough to cover my derriere *tee-hee!* is not much of a problem for me, I'm having trouble with loose clothing. But I'm slowly getting there, where I shoud be, as a true hijjabi. As we all should be. And Insya-Allah, we'll get there. Amin.

Ps: Jazakallah for your long-awaited post MM. It inspired me to write so much in my comment. Haha! Maybe we should open up a Muslimah's boutique. Hmmmm...

8:59 am  
Blogger MuslimahMelayu said...

Your comment describes my thoughts better than my writing above! hehe. Yes dang, we need to be extra mentally and emotionally strong here in our own homeland. Its kinda sad really.

p/s: Ooohh! Muslimah boutique! thats a very good idea!! No more headache of finding the right clothing! Can just get them from our own shop! haha *angan2 tah ku naahhh*

12:00 pm  
Blogger Mzadorable said...

owh owh! i second the idea. That will be uber cool! yes, payah bah mencari pakaian yang loose and long sleeve atu...insyaAllah we will

1:18 pm  
Blogger Bella said...

Assalamualaikum, I have to agree with u totally. I guess in some ways I see the way Allah give me this figure ( big and fat) is a blessing. U know why? I would be scared to wear thigt clothes jua and Alhamdulillah nowadays I prefer baju kurung much more than fashionable clothes. If I were to make one I have to ensure it is incredibly loose or else it wil be uncomfy or i feel naked. What I dun like pakaian masa ani, udah tah jarang tu and fitted and then hmm nda menutupi pungung. So i always buat baju sendiri i meant the blouse. And skirt alhamdulillah ada yg basar2 lunggar atu bejual. Ganya ada jua ku nda tepakai yg jarang atu membari sakit hati nasib jua skirt dalam ada kana invent. Hehe mun nda.. anyhoo melarat. I like ur article it is great. Keep it coming babe. Syukran for the reminder sister.

Btw I hope u can write entry how tudung aka hijab nowadays is just considered as a fashion accessories. Lately I saw women wearing sleeveless (really sleeveless baju) and wear the tudun g hijab yg ala indon (tudung planet buntak) and fitted clothes. Then ofcourse yg baju chiffon tangan nda belapis I think di kira sama jua nampak aurat tu. So, I hope u can make one and help our sister to realize this. Thank You. I apologize if I offended anyone. Forgive me. Wassalam

3:42 pm  
Anonymous effa said...

You guys are getting me excited about this boutique thing! Ubercool huh?!I hope no one will do it before us. I have been seriously contemplating of opening up business even if I'm still a student. I'll do some research.

3:50 pm  
Blogger MuslimahMelayu said...

Bella: Waalaikumsalam my dear sister. Jazakallahu Khayran for ur relentless support. Brabis. hehe. InsyaAllah in the near future i will try to write something along the line that u asked for. Masa ani aku ada request frm an adorable person to write on a particular topic. hehe. so tunggu saja ah.InsyaAllah kalau ada idea melimpah ruah ada tu nanti.


Effa & Mzadorable: Im super excited as well! haha. Just the other day i was telling someone that i have the feeling im not gonna stay very long with my current job. What a coincidence! ohh how does 'Seri Muslimah Boutique' sound? hahhaha. eh i prefer if ada ala2 nama arab...but i cant think of any. oohh this is fun! haha.

6:40 pm  
Anonymous effa said...

'Seri Muslimah Boutique' made me laugh. No offence!! I was thinking of Muhajababe (it's actually a book title). 'Muhajabah' apparently means one who veils (correct me if im wrong). 'Babe' obviously means us girls (duh!). The main aim would be to be fashion-forward yet still modest. Did some research..did you know there are 'swimsuits' called 'Burqini' for Muslimahs? Very limited choice though but a really good start don't you think?

8:59 pm  
Blogger MuslimahMelayu said...

I knew u wud laugh at that 'Seri Muslimah Boutique'!! hahahha. Aku pun kebidahan hehe. hmm whats the diff between Mujahabah and muhajabah??U know what...i told my sis bout this boutique thingie and then we started talking bout bali kain in china or korea! talking about xcited much! hahahha.

Oh and yea ive seen the Burqini.nda ku tekarih makai eh. haha. Btw..did u know the gold winner of 100m runner (i think!) of the Asian games in Doha recently ani is a muslim? and she ran with her hijab on! uber kool huh. It shows that we can still do sport with hijjab. Hmm i think i should make a post on this some time soon. eh banyak jua post ku in queue ani eh but ndaaa jua menaip :p

11:44 am  
Anonymous effa said...

I think it's really suppose to be Muhajabah and Mujahabah is a typo. I think. Good luck with upcoming posts. Haha!

11:56 am  
Anonymous Goimaalik said...

Err...

Why don't you ladies wear sphegetti straps, tubes, corsets, mini skirts and hotpants? What's the problem? Tonnes of Muslimaat are wearing them. THEY JUST COVER THEM WITH ABAYA WHEN OUTSIDE THE HOUSE. Sheesh... Allah been telling you all this while...

Yaa Baniy Adam! WE have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves and as an adornment...

...AND THE RAIMENT OF RIGHTEOSNESS, THAT IS BETTER...

...Such are among the
Ayaat of Allah, that they
may remember (i.e. leave
Al-Baa'til and follow Al-'Haqq)."

[Al-^a'graaf 7:26]

See what you people are missing when you people don't listen to ahlu-(al)-ssunna[t] wa-(a)l-jama'aa[t]?

Allah gave you best of both words, you drop both for some stupid jeans and tee...

I-D-I-O-T-S.

1:34 am  
Blogger MuslimahMelayu said...

Assalamualaikum goimalik

Pls refer to my comments in my post 'Just a lil' something'.

"Avoid ill feelings against others. Furthermore some ill feelings slacken or dull goodwill. And do not eavesdrop or backbite against one another. Would any one of you like to eat the flesh of a dead brother? You would abhor it!" [Al-Hujurat 49:12]

6:45 pm  
Blogger aisyah said...

Salaam sister(s) =)

i noe...batah batah ani..baru tia kan mengomen. but i just want 2 say...

YESSSSSSSS...to A MUslimah Boutique! I just went out shopping just now, to find clothes that are 'more' befitting (pun not intended) 4 a Muslimah..paning..paning..mencari baju yang proper sini..=)

n yeah..its true...sometimes we find that wearing such n such clothes would make us look old n so not 'in'...(i get that a lot, my cousins say i look like mummy when i go out, n theyre the hot chic hijababes..sigh*ok ok astghafirullah..what am i saying)...
i cud be a blow against the self esteem sometimes..n its sumthing i think many of us just have to fight. not giving in2 peer pressure n the 'in' look..n inshaAllah, once the self accepts that it is all sincerely for God, God will make it easy n sweet for us. Ameen.^_^V

take care ya'll!

n gr8 site sister =)

11:51 pm  
Blogger Muslimah Melayu said...

Salaam Aisyah

Yes how i wish we have a proper Muslimah Boutique here. Those that sells clothes that truly covers our aurah but does not restrict our movements.

Living in this modern world is definitely trying our iman. But you are right, if we solely dedicate our life to please Allah, than nothing should be difficult.

Thank u for dropping by aisyah. Jazakallah for ur comments :)

1:14 pm  
Blogger rOse.OutgOing said...

Assalamualaikum...gee, my comment is late again *doh* hmm,so u guys finding difficulties in searching clothes whch suitably attired for muslimah n cover our aurah n doesn't restrict our movement.. y don't u try to find them in indonesia? hehe.. here wa call that 'abaya'. anyway, sbenarnya patut disyukuri juga coz nowdays banyak juga yg memakai jilbab (hijaab/tudung),terlepas dari statement "jilbab kini menjadi sbuah trend semata" itu adalah salah 1 perjuangan kita, muslimah, untuk menghilangkan statement itu. Berat memang... this is life,ya... i remember wat my senior in my high skul said 2 me a week b4 i decided 2 wear hijaab (its 7 years ago) "the hijaab s haya. there r 2 authentic hadeeth which state:each religion has a morality n the morality of islam is haya. AND, bashfulnes is frm belief, n belief is in Al-Jannah.The hijaab fits d natural bashfulness which is a part of the nature women.

2:26 pm  
Blogger rOse.OutgOing said...

Assalamualaikum...gee, my comment is late again *doh* hmm,so u guys finding difficulties in searching clothes whch suitably attired for muslimah n cover our aurah n doesn't restrict our movement.. y don't u try to find them in indonesia? hehe.. here wa call that 'abaya'. anyway, sbenarnya patut disyukuri juga coz nowdays banyak juga yg memakai jilbab (hijaab/tudung),terlepas dari statement "jilbab kini menjadi sbuah trend semata" itu adalah salah 1 perjuangan kita, muslimah, untuk menghilangkan statement itu. Berat memang... this is life,ya... i remember wat my senior in my high skul said 2 me a week b4 i decided 2 wear hijaab (its 7 years ago) "the hijaab s haya. there r 2 authentic hadeeth which state:each religion has a morality n the morality of islam is haya. AND, bashfulnes is frm belief, n belief is in Al-Jannah.The hijaab fits d natural bashfulness which is a part of the nature women.

2:26 pm  
Blogger rOse.OutgOing said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

2:26 pm  
Blogger Muslimah Melayu said...

Salaam rose

Welcome! You are free to post your comments anytime. No worries :D

Yes it is a bit difficult to find muslimah clothes here. maybe we all should go to indonesia one day for shopping. hehe.

Those hadeeth are beautiful sister. Thank you for sharing them.

7:22 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home